Monogamy Isn’t Working — Not the Way We Do It

But don’t worry — I’ve got a paradigm shift for you…

Vishal Show


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Let me tell you a story about the strange and somewhat baffling perspectives that people have in relationships. I often hear this comment, and it never fails to amuse me:

“A woman owes her man regular sex. If I’m not having sex with her, I lose the right to insist she not have sex with someone else.”

It’s like listening to a discussion about wild animals marking their territory, but in this case, the territory is another person, and the scent-marking is done with semen. Honestly, the comparison makes me cringe. It seems some folks believe they can claim ownership over someone else’s body just because they’re in a relationship.

But it’s not just men with these peculiar ideas; women have their own version of it. They talk about keeping things “fresh and spicy” in the bedroom, as if relationships are a perpetual dance to avoid potential infidelity. The advice goes so far as to suggest constant efforts to “keep it tight,” referring to both the body and, well, you know. They even advocate wearing a full face of makeup every day, whether you’re working out or sick — all in the name of preventing their husbands from straying.

Now, let’s not pretend this is a one-sided affair. Women, too, have their set of rules. Some don’t want their husbands maintaining friendships with women, especially single ones. They frown upon conversations with ex-girlfriends and object to their partners watching porn, which, admittedly, can be a tricky subject.

What’s happening in monogamous, heterosexual relationships, especially marriages? Are we so lost that we genuinely believe we have the right to control someone else’s body?

It’s disheartening to witness these perspectives, as if relationships are a battleground where each person is fighting to claim and control the other. The idea that one person “owes” the other something as personal as sex is outdated and regressive. Relationships should be built on mutual respect, understanding, and consent, not on some archaic notion of ownership.